How to Set Yourself Free from People’s Opinions of You
When someone says something negative about you, it cuts deep. It’s a wound that can remain open and can destroy your happiness. Everyone has opinions and when you take them to heart, they begin to control you. You’ll start adjusting your actions and behavior to put people at ease around you. The only problem with this is that it etches and scrapes away your own identity and essence, and that’s a terrible loss. Growing a thicker skin is something that sounds easier in words, in reality being less sensitive is a process. The first step in the process is defining yourself and knowing yourself extremely well. Everything else can be built up once the foundation is right.
People Can Only Understand to the Level of their Own Perception
When people judge you, it’s often less about you and more about how they perceive the world. If someone doesn’t understand you, that’s because they aren’t at your level of perception. Remember that’s okay, it’s a fool’s errand to put all your energy into convincing people to get you. Every person has experiences, insecurities and fears. These have an impact on their opinions, so when someone doesn’t have a good opinion of you consider that they are coloring their perceptions of you with their own view.
Yes You Have Flaws
Nobody’s perfect, no matter how much we might try to be. We all have flaws and even when we work on them, they still show themselves from time to time. To take control of your life, you must recognize that you’re a human and you are going to make mistakes. When someone criticizes you, don’t internalize it. Remind yourself that you’re flawed and move forward.
Not Everyone’s Going to Like You
Don’t fall into the people pleaser’s trap because one of life’s great truths is that you won’t be liked by everybody. Some people just won’t understand you and some will dislike you for reasons beyond your control. Should you waste valuable time trying to get everyone to join your fan club? No. Instead, give your energy to the people that like and love you, they absolutely deserve it. Don’t be worried about what that other person said about you, this is energy and time wasted. If there are people who love you, value you and think you’re awesome – what more could you possibly want?
Value YOUR Opinion
An identity built on the expectations of other people is a tenuous one. It can never be solid or stable enough to sustain you. The person you look at in the mirror, that’s who should matter in what you feel about yourself. You are your own greatest competition and many times the best person who can solve your problems. Most of us know exactly what we need to be happy and sometimes it might just seem in conflict with the status quo, but that doesn’t matter if you value your opinion first. You just can’t please them all especially when pleasing them comes at the expense of your own joy, peace and happiness.
Paying attention to people’s opinions of you is frankly an exhausting exercise. You’ll spend your time concerned with whether you look right, act right or sound right, when in all honesty there isn’t just one correct way to be a person. Also the only person who ends up suffering is you and that begs the question: are you willing to lose yourself to gain the approval and gratification of people who don’t value you the way you deserve to? The answer should always be a no, because no other person can be more valuable than your own sanity.
